Sometimes, the rights people think they have sound absurd on paper.
This year, the Institute for Legal Reform, a division of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, identified the most ridiculous lawsuits based on votes cast on FacesOfLawsuitAbuse.org.
"Is this really what we want our legal system to look like?" ILR President Lisa A. Rickard said. “Abusive lawsuits both big and small take a collective toll on our society and our economy."
The ten worst:
1. Idaho inmates' blamed a life of crime on alcohol companies.
A group of five inmates at a Kuna, Idaho prison facilities sued a group of eight brewers for failing to warn them adequately of the dangers of alcohol.
“I have spent a great deal of time in prison because of situations that have arose because of people being drunk, or because of situations in which alcohol played a major role,” one inmate wrote, according to the Idaho Statesmen.
Others claim they never would have started drinking had they known about alcohol's addictive nature.
The inmates don't have a lawyer and drafted the suit themselves.
2. An Ohio teacher claimed fear of children in a suit against her district.
Maria C. Waltherr-Willard, 61, teaches Spanish and French at the Mariemont school district. She claims, however, to experience stress, anxiety, chest pains, vomiting, nightmares, and high blood pressure when she spends time around young children — a disability she calls "pedophobia," according to Fox News.
So she sued the district for discrimination for reassigning her from high school to middle school. A federal judge dismissed three of her six claims in January 2013.
3. A New Jersey school kicked a student off the track team for excessive absences, and his dad sued the county for $40 million.
The father claims a family death and leg injury can account for the absences, also that his freshman son was bullied and harassed before being kicked off the team, according to Yahoo! Sports.
The suit also claims the coach chose seniors over the boy for races despite him running faster times.
4. A West Virginia woman sued over "severe and permanent injuries" despite completing a half-marathon.
Less than six months after her car accident, Erica Tamburin ran a half-marathon in 2010. She finished 50 out of 173, according to the West Virginia Record.
Claiming she suffered severe injuries, however, she filed suit the next year against Cabela's, the owner of the parking lot where her accident occurred.
Tamburin also listed her daughter, for allegedly losing the service and comfort of her mother, on the suit.
5. Two New Jersey men sued Subway because their "footlong" sandwiches fell short.
Earlier this year Australian Matt Corby measured his Subway sandwich. The sub, advertised as a "footlong," was only 11 inches long. The photo quickly went viral.
Now, two New Jersey men have sued the company because their footlong sub sandwiches allegedly only hit 11 inches, too.
“The case is about holding companies to deliver what they’ve promised,” the duo's lawyer Stephen DeNittis told the New York Post.
A Manhattan shop owner also told the Post the company has decreased its cold-cut sizes by 25% recently.
The case has since transferred to Federal Court at the request of the defendants. They also moved to seek class action status, according to the Burlington County Times.
6. A grown man in New York sued his parents for their "indifference" to his problems.
Homeless Brooklyn resident Bernard Bey, 32, sued his parents because they refused to give him $200,000 to open up two Domino's pizza franchises, the New York Daily News reported. He thinks his parents should mortgage their Bed-Stuy home and give him one-eighth of the money.
Bey's parents' actions over the years "have caused deep rooted wounds that cannot heal on their own," the suit states. They "are indifferent to their children's problems, relationship, poverty, status and station in life."
7. A customer sued a Bob Evan's over a hostess' rude comment.
When Joel Acey entered a Bob Evan's in West Virgina and asked to sit in the front of the restaurant, the hostess allegedly didn't listen.
He claims she led him to the back, slammed the menus on the table, and called him "a damned idiot," the West Virginia Record reported.
Unsatisfied with the manager's apology, Acey sued the company for discrimination based on his race.
8. A grad student who received free tuition sued her Pennsylvania school over a grade.
Megan Thode, a graduate student at Lehigh University, sued her school because she got a C+. Her attorney Richard J. Orloski claims the grade meant to force her out of becoming a licensed professional counselor, according to The Morning Call, Lehigh Valley's daily newspaper.
The professor, however, spoke of unprofessional behavior, including swearing in class.
Thode filed a civil suit totaling $1.3 million for a breach of contract and sexual discrimination. Notably, she attended the university for free since her dad is a professor.
A judge rejected her claim in February 2013, the Associated Press reported.
9. An injured robber sued an Arizona shop owner.
Scott LaFonte allegedly took merchandise without paying from Mike's Mini Mart while brandishing a knife, according to Prescott, Ariz.'s The Daily Courier.
Store owner Michael Lewis took a gun from his car and chased after the robber, whom he knew. When LaFonte approached him, Lewis fired a warning shot in the air and then, as he continued to approach, shot him three times, according to a police report.
LaFonte sued Lewis in 2011, asking for unspecified damages, including lost wages and medical expenses, saying the store owner was not in danger and only fired out of "spite or ill will."
Two years later, a judge found Lewis not liable for damages.
10. A Tennessee man sued Apple for his porn addiction.
One day, former attorney and amateur model Chris Sevier accidentally typed "F---book," instead of "Facebook" on his Apple device.
Now, he's suing the tech giant for selling him a machine with unrestricted Internet access. Since Apple is "concerned with the welfare of our Nation's children, while furthering pro-American values" it should "sell all its devices in 'safe mode,' with software preset to filter out pornographic content," according to his suit.
Sevier also claims that by giving access to porn at users' fingertips, Apple has harmed actual, brick and mortar adult stores, the Huffington Post reported.